|
Hello, my name is Kristi. I was born and raised in beautiful east Tennessee. I have three half-siblings and
am the proud aunt to three adorable nieces. I have been with my wonderful wife Tammy for over 11 years.
My mom
and dad divorced when I was around a year old. My dad joined the military, remarried, and had two more children.
I was raised in a blended family with my mom, maternal aunt, and maternal grandparents. We were poor in money but rich
in love, laughter, and family warmth.
The ages between 10 and 18 were a very rough time for me. I won't discuss
all the reasons why here but I will touch on some. First of all, I was the fat kid all the bullies like to tease and
give a hard time. This was always a challenge to rise above but add the onset of early puberty into the equation and
it became even more cruel. Next, when I was around age 13 my mom got remarried, moved out and had another child.
This devastated me and combined with all the other stuff both before and after it brought on a depression that I still suffer
with some as an adult. I felt like I had been abandoned because she was the only parent I had known. Of course
now as an adult I know that's not true. Also, when I was 14 my maternal grandfather died of a massive heart attack.
Finally, four years later when I was 18 my maternal grandmother also died of a massive heart attack. There were good things
that happened during these rough times. One was in November 1987 when I gave my life and heart to Jesus and was saved.
During
this time frame and before, another issue was brewing that would also affect my life. That issue was lesbianism.
I knew that I was different from a very early age. I can remember, roughly around age 6 or 7, having a crush on a girl
who rode my bus. Of course I didn't know what it all meant or what being gay was but I knew I was fascinated by her.
Then a little later in elementary school I can remember thinking, "Why can't a girl like another girl like a boy likes a girl?"
When junior high and high school rolled around things were becoming more clear due to the increasing number of crushes.
When I went to community college the picture was crystal clear that although I might find the occasional guy cute my immediate
and lasting attraction was for women.
By my late teens and early twenties I finally fully understood what being gay
meant. I also became aware that the world in general and especially the mainstream christian community doesn't like
it. Mainstream christianity even goes so far as to try and convince gay people that God doesn't love them and they can't
be saved. I went to church briefly as a young child with my mom and then again for a short period after my grandmother's
death. What I remember being taught as a child was that there was nothing you could ever do or say to make God not love
you. Also, that if you loved and believed in Him when you died then you would go to Heaven. I wasn't aware that
fact had changed but obviously some people are under that impression. I had always wanted to belong to a church family
and tried after my grandma's death but inevitably that magic topic of gays going to hell came up and I quit church because
of it. Finally, I became so disgusted with the whole thing that I avoided anything to do with church, christian tv,
and the like. But all the while I kept hearing God in my spirit saying, "I love You!".
I tried to just focus
on graduating community college and entering the job force. I got my first real job at a video store inside our local
Wal-Mart. It would be here, of all places, that God would begin to revolutionize my life by introducing me to my future
wife through a co-worker. My future wife and the co-worker that introduced us, both attended a local christian college.
See, God does have a sense of humor. As our relationship blossomed God began to draw us individually and as a couple
to Him again. My boss at this video store was also a lesbian and she had a gay male friend she had told me about that
belonged to a gay welcoming church. Tammy and I decided to try it and although it has recently changed pastors and names
we are still going there over 9 years later.
It amazes me how God works! I have finally decided that it is more
important to listen to what God says about me and not what man says. I also decided to look for my own direction and
answers in God's word and you know what its all been Good News!
May God Bless You on your journey too!
|
